Quit Telling Her How to Dress
- Feb 4, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 12, 2023
Respect is rare when society sets high regard for a person's clothing. A woman's attire is not anyone else's business, especially if you're not her stylist.
“That's too much,” or "You look so plain." These are only a few of the unsolicited comments that people say on a daily basis about a woman's clothing. Even in this new era where everyone has greater freedom to become who they are, there is still room for judgment against one's appearance. Women, including men, will never be free of society's eyes. Just like the saying goes, "People will always have something to say." But when can you say enough is enough?
Unsolicited remarks about a woman's clothing have become a norm that even when a young lady gets a malicious comment from a stranger, people would rather blame her for overdressing. The worst part is that the authorities expected to serve and protect the citizens are also part of the victim-blaming culture in the Philippines.
On June 11, 2020, an official Facebook post of Lucban Municipal Police Station went viral because of its disrespectful manner of addressing women in the guise of concern. The now deleted post says,
“Kayo naman mga ghErlsz, wag kayo magsusuot ng pagkaikli-ikling damit at pag naman nabastos ay magsusumbong din sa amin. Isipin niyo rin!”
For an organization that is an ally of the people, their statement seems contradictory to their principle as the law enforces.
One unsolicited comment can be terrifying
People do not understand that sometimes one unsolicited remark can become a traumatizing experience. Jess Leigh, an advisory panel in Plan International UK, shared in her Ted Talk how malicious comments from strangers changed her life. Even when she was wearing a school uniform, she would still get unsolicited remarks from men saying, "Nice ass you've got there." These comments made her feel terrified every day. Whenever she walks down the street, that dreadful feeling that something terrible might happen grips her mind.
“I get a sick feeling in my stomach. It’s a feeling I can’t quite describe, but it makes me ashamed of my body, and ashamed to be a girl, and these feelings don’t go away.”
It also happens to men
Jhon Rafael Banquiles changed his Facebook profile picture on December 16, 2022, with the caption, "normalize when men are wearing crop tops." His profile photo wearing a cropped top went viral, gaining approximately 51,000 reactions, 2,500 comments, and 36,000 shares. It produced a lot of mixed responses and hateful comments.
A user named Daniel Rebb Fernan commented, "Normalize nang kagaral nimo bogo!” which translates to, "Normalize your own kind, stupid!" The boy who wanted to express his individuality on social media is getting hate for his own choice of clothing. Banquiles did not even say that men should wear cropped tops. He only wanted people to respect men that are wearing cropped tops. Yet people online, especially men, hate him and call him names.
Malicious statements often lead to harassments
What seemed to be a harmless statement about a woman’s dress would sometimes lead to a horrifying act of harassment.
Hollywood, with all its Glitz and Glamour, overshadow the reality that actors and actresses must endure to remain in the industry. Scarlett Johansson, popularly known for her role as Black Widow, the only female superhero of the Avengers, got harassed on live TV.
In 2006, during an interview for the Golden Globes, Isaac Mizrahi the 44-year-old interviewer for E! has asked Scarlett, about the underwear she was wearing for the event. The actress told him, “It’s all built in. That’s the Valentino way.” Without any consent, Mizrahi preceded in squeezing the left breast of the 21-year-old actress. Scarlett was laughing uncomfortably and stopped Mizrahi by saying, “What is going on?”
Before Scarlett, Mizrahi has also asked other female celebrities including Keira Knightley and Teri Hatcher about the underwear that they were wearing during the event.
It happens everywhere, everyday
A study by United Nations Women UK shows that 97% of women aged 18 to 24 years old have experienced sexual harassment, regardless of the clothing they were wearing. In addition, 70% of women have endured harassment.
Women experience it every day, from offensive remarks to malicious sexualizing statements they receive from men about their clothing. Nothing has changed. It's always the same. The fear continues to grow until it entirely consumes your soul.
It’s not a big deal for people who have never been approached by a man with a perversive look on his face while saying, “Hey, beautiful.”
It's just overreaction when you haven't received an offensive remark about your appearance from a person you treated as family.
You think the woman’s outfit caused her to be molested because you haven't been in the same situation. It's always the victim and not the perpetrator.
Once you've experienced the terror women endure every day, you will understand. But why must it go that far, when we can just do it now? Why is it so hard for people to respect an individual's choice of clothing?
This speaks a lot about how toxic the society can get. I am amazed by the relevance and inclusivity of the topic this article talks about.
Sa sobrang powerful ng social media, kahit saang avenue nafefeel na ng mga tao ang kahit anong types of harassment and discrimination.
tinuod jud ni unta maka realize ang mga tao
sa totoo lang ang daming mga judgemental na mga tao ngayon
I totally agree with the article. It's a sad reality that most women including the LGBT community experience.